A State of Mind

I don’t know if I’ve written about this before, but even if I have I’m doing it again because its such a prominent thing for me at the moment. I don’t give a fuck. About anything. I don’t care about my grades, I don’t care about my health, I don’t care about my cutting. I

Feeling Relatable

New video out on my channel now! So, todays post will be another song I love to death and back again. As soon as this song came out I knew I had to make a post on it, because it’s so relatable to me. The song is Billie Eilish’s new song, ‘Everything I Wanted.’ Now,

The Surprise of Kindness

Before I start this post, I’d just like to say that I’ve started a non-profit YouTube channel for hopefully helping save the environment. If you could check it out and maybe subscribe that would be amazing, I have two videos on there already: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-g2DXCZtJyce9eVzUlkGKw. Now onto the post. This is always a warming story for

Paranoia

Over the past couple weeks, my paranoia became a big part of my life again. Two weeks ago, my former best friend and I rekindled our dying friendship. We’re now good friends again. And that’s where Sir Paranoia comes into full-blown, bloody action. Every time I talk to this friend, my mind plays tricks on

Pointlessness

I’d say 6/7 days a week I think about this topic. Pointlessness. A bookshelf has a point – to hold books. A pencil has a point, quite literally and also to write. But I’m not a bookshelf or a pencil, and for the simple reason that they both have a point to existence, I envy

Things Worth Living For

Last Saturday, I came close to ending my life. I was advised by a friend (the same friend described here)that I should write a list of all the things that makes my life worth living. If you are in a similar mindset, I would highly recommend this. It won’t work for everyone, but if I

Arbitrary Life Happenings

So this is going to be another weird post. Prepare to laugh at me. I got my hair cut today. I really really like getting my hair cut. I just love the feeling of the cold metal touching the skin just above my ear. Told you it was going to be weird, but don’t pretend

Happy, Happy, Happy

I really don’t understand my brain. How can I go from the lowest point of my life (self-deprecation, self harm etc, read my posts titled Going Down and Nothing Really Matters)to where I am now, which is…almost HAPPY. Now I say that with a grain of salt. I don’t think I’ve been truly happy consistently

My Desire for, and Fear of, Attention

This post is going to show a negative aspect of my character. I’m not very proud of myself for feeling these emotions, but I like to be real and honest, and writing all this done is good for me. So, attention. I love attention. No, I hate attention. No, I love it. I think I

Controlling my Narrative

I apologise for the past couple of posts. I’ve been in probably the darkest part of my life so far for the last week or so, but for some reason I felt a lot better today. Thank you to everyone who reached out to me to offer me words of encouragement or advice. They were