I don’t know if I’ve written about this before, but even if I have I’m doing it again because its such a prominent thing for me at the moment.
I don’t give a fuck. About anything. I don’t care about my grades, I don’t care about my health, I don’t care about my cutting.
I don’t know if my studying has gone downhill because I’m in my final year of school and everything is so much harder, and I burnt out or something, or if I just realised that it doesn’t matter. Because grades honestly don’t matter. Sure, if you get better grades, you have more chance of going to university, so more qualifications, so a bigger chance of getting higher paying jobs – but if money doesn’t matter, which to me it really doesn’t, then really getting good grades is pointless.
As to my health and cutting, they’re closely connected I think. I no longer try as hard to maintain a balanced diet or exercise, because I don’t see the point. Life is short, and shorter for some than others.
I just feel…meh.
There’s no other word to describe it.
Anyway, very jolly post😊. If you want, you can check out my YT channel, which I actually do care about, and am enjoying: