I really don’t understand my brain. How can I go from the lowest point of my life (self-deprecation, self harm etc, read my posts titled Going Down and Nothing Really Matters)to where I am now, which is…almost HAPPY.
Now I say that with a grain of salt. I don’t think I’ve been truly happy consistently for about 5 years. I guess you could say my mental health hasn’t been top notch.
However, right now. Right now I feel good. And I’m proud of myself for that.
I realised it about 20 minutes, while I was having a shower. I honestly love showering. For me, it’s somewhere my dirty problems can be washed away momentarily by clean warm water. Also, going very off topic, I have this amazing vegan-friendly mint liquid soap. Unsurprisingly, it makes me smell of mint, which I LOVE.
Anyway, back to topic. In physical representations of my happiness, my friendships are doing fine (never amazing, but that’s ok), Im doing more exercise, Im eating tasty food without having too much junk, and I’m sleeping at least 7 hours a night, which is pretty good for me.
Happy. Bright. Sunshine. Etc. Feeling it right now. I don’t know how long this will last, or how real these feelings are, but I’ll take it.
I’ll fricking take it!