I’m not an easy person to be friends with.
It all goes back to my shyness, awkwardness, and insane desire to never ever do anything wrong.
The biggest problem I have with being friends with someone is the talking part – and I know what you’re going to say, “Harry, isn’t talking the most important part of forming a good friendship?” And you’d be right. You need to talk to someone to understand them as a person and if you’re compatible with each other. And that’s the problem…I’m not very good at talking. Or, more specifically, small talk. I can talk for hours and hours to a friend about a deep topic, whether personal or political (the personal is the political, to be fair), but when it comes to just sitting with a friend and hanging out, I’m rubbish. And that’s where my paranoia kicks in, and starts to ruin the friendship (you can check out my last post Paranoia, to learn more about that). As well as that, I’m always trying to be as careful as I can, in order to not hurt my friends; this in turn has a negative impact, because I just end up not speaking because I worry anything I ever say will be bad in some way.
So, I’m not very good at being an interesting friend, which is quite sad, and honestly irritating for me, because I wish I could at least hold a 5 minute conversation with someone I like. But so be it. It wont change, so there’s no point worrying about it constantly, right?
By the way, I’ve been thinking of this for a while – you guys don’t really know anything about me. If you’d like me to write up a post of my life story, my political views?, my passions and my fears, then please let me know!